yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
