I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
