I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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