yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
