did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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