I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
