i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
false alarm, still single
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize