I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
