haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
