New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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