Your face is a jimmy john
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
