you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
