I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize