Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
