Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
