I'm lost and stupid without you.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
