Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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