Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.

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(970): View more from Colorado

Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.

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(301): View more from Maryland

I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

my sombrero is too big for the bathroom

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(623): View more from Arizona

and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?

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(907): View more from Alaska

immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten

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(818): View more from California

YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK

(512): View more from Texas

i got me so drunk!

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