his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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