Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You're like the curious george of whores
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
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