oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
