My nipple is on Facebook.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
