"it" just moved
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
