dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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