i'm lost and i look like a hooker
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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