I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
