I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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