I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
