Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
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