pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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