Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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