She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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