it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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