doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize