Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
