Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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