I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
