Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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