I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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