he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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