you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
