i think my mom watched the whole time
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
