I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
