they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
