don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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