Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
