I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
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