i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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