He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
