you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
