if i died would you start the facebook group?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize