Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
