He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just forgot I was standing up.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize