I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
