why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
