Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
be right there i have to get my cape
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize