Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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