He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Sext me about skeletons
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize