I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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