I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Please don't give away my fajitas
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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