'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
we made out on top of his cat.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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