Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Randomize
