we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
