HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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