she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
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