all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
